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Saturday, June 4, 2011

On Respect For Women Essay #3 - Men and Women Are Different

God has made us male and female, equal in nature but not in temperament. God has designed a man and a woman to join their lives to create new life in harmony between themselves and God. He has created men and women different so that, in marriage, they can complement one another to beget new life, protect it, and putting their trust in God, show their love for Him in doing their best to follow His plan.

Thus one man and one woman through marriage become the vital life giving force within a society and nation in which they participate with others in completing God's plan in their lives and the life of the nation.

God created Adam first; then he created Eve from the flesh of Adam to be a companion for Adam. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God they became aware of their nakedness. Adam was to take on the role of provider and Eve was to bear and raise children and be a helper to Adam.

Through the many millennia up to our time men and women have struggled with their roles. In many cases through this time, women have not been treated with the respect and honor which God has intended. In our own time there is a struggle between the plan for men and women authored by God and a secular notion promoted by those who wish to deny God's role in the actions of humans beings. These so-called progressives are trying to make people, and especially our young, to accept the falsehood that the only difference between men and women are in their genitals.

To understand the difference between men and women we have to explain their differences in terms of their fallen state. Let us imagine an experiment involving groups of men and women. Let us imagine that a group of men are put together in a room where they are asked to converse with one another for a certain period of time. The result is that the conversation tends to center around sexual activity.  When the same experiment is tried with women their conversation tends to center around gossiping about people.

To explain this different behavior, Dennis Prager on his radio show, discusses the differences between men and women each Wednesday on what he calls the male-female hour.  He has a special guest named Allison who has studied men and women, how they think, how they act and especially how they react to the opposite sex.  She has a delightful way of presenting her knowledge and does it with much humor.

Here are her descriptions of the differences in male and female behavior:  Men tend to focus on one thing and use their energies to get that one thing accomplished. Women, on the other hand, cannot focus on one thing but deal with a number of different things at the same time. 

Considering the implications of their fallen state, men have a struggle with controlling their sexual thoughts and desires. When men see a woman, they are attracted by her beauty, by her shape, by the way she comports herself; in particular, if the woman is attired in a way that accents her bodily parts and shape, he can be sexually aroused. Good men struggle to keep these thoughts and desires under control. But generally speaking all men have this struggle.

Generally speaking, women do not respond to how a man looks; she is not sexually aroused by the way a man looks or acts. The great struggle that women have is to keep her emotions under control. She lacks that singular focus of a man and is concerned about many things at the same time. If she is successful in keeping her emotions under control, she is better able to see “the big picture” than is a man.

Putting these two together in a marriage can be mutually beneficial when each partner has, through self-discipline, been able to deal appropriately with their different struggles. At times the husband can be so singularly focused on a project that he gets sort of lost; then he finds the “big picture” of the wife helpful in keeping himself better focused.

Part of the husband's singular focus can be his sexual arousal in observing his wife.  If a wife properly understands this she can lovingly respond to his desire for her even though she has not initiated the call for sexual union.  If the wife does not understand this she may express revulsion towards her husband and woe to the husband should such a wife say “is that all you ever think about -- sex?”

A wife's inability to adequately keep her emotions under control can result in the wife being critical of every little thing that her husband does or doesn't do as she would have it.  Such nagging, happening but rarely, should not disrupt the happiness and harmony within the marriage. Many times it is incumbent upon the husband to understand how his wife can be upset at times with seemingly little things. A wise husband will be compassionate towards his wife and help her in her struggle.

What a difference it can make in marriage when each of the partners understands the struggle the other has because of his or her battle.  Going back to that question of who the boss is in marriage, it is so clear in many beautiful marriages that the wife is "the power behind the throne" because her God-given talent in being able to see many things at the same time has proved of immense value in bringing success to her husband; but at the same time she also honors her husband's legitimate desires to express his love for her through sexual union.