My Dear Daughter,
Below is a letter I left for Mom this morning after we had dinner with M at California Pizza last night. As you can tell I felt pretty low.
(Start of Letter) Well, here I sit frustrated with very little sleep Monday morning 8:30 AM June 10, 2013. Frustrated because as I’ve always done my whole life - I leave things until the last minute and have none-the-less been able to accomplish what I wanted to. But you were right last night − I let this thing go too long trying to do the things that need to be done in apartment 2112 and here it is the last day of our tenant’s vacation or trip to Arizona for whatever, and while I have bought the AC, I do not know whether I can put it in by myself today. Mosquitoes are flying all around me and I know I’ll be in more pain in just a little bit.
Sean has not responded to my calls and I guess I’ll have to go down to his house and see where he is, probably on vacation. I didn’t get a chance to get the number of this other fellow, whose name I can’t remember at the moment. And in addition to the AC, there are 2 other things that I have to get fixed, which of course I haven’t told you about, and that is one of the screens that Sean installed was damaged by stiff winds because it didn’t fit correctly. The second thing is an upper hinge on the upper cabinet door in the bathroom being completely rusted out. Why nobody spotted that I’m not sure. Anyway, those three things: the AC, the hinge, and the screen have to be fixed for inspection, which again I didn’t tell you about, before June 21.
I marveled at the quickness with which you accomplished the 2 major operations at 1513 of fixing the door and the bedroom AC. I could not have done that. I would’ve gone along with the thousand dollars the other guy wanted to repair the windows and the door. So everything negative you said about me is true. Even though I’ve tried I’ve screwed it all up. I’m afraid it’s only going to get worse which is why I wanted to get out of this business about the fixing up of the apartments. Sometimes I have the energy and sometimes I don’t. The problems of back pain is for the most part solved but not completely. The bladder problem has come to be a nightmare and I’m not sure what, if any, resolution there is going to be to that.
In the old days I had just enough energy to manage to get things done, not necessarily in the best way, but at least done. Now I don’t know when I’m going to be able to do something or not. At dinner last night I just got so frustrated being judged by M as I had been by you about the matter of our grand-daughter and her iTouch or cell phone. In regard to my relationship with our two daughters we have a major disagreement but I am convinced that when I stand before God, he will not condemn me for what I’ve tried to do. He may condemn me for a lot of other things but I sincerely believe he will not condemn me for having done what I’ve always thought best for both our daughters; so you and I will always have to agree to disagree although we don’t agree to disagree do we?
I am what I am. Some things I am willing to change, others not. But you continually judge me; many times you are right but I’m not sure it helps me to do better and become better with your constant finding fault at all times. So there we are. In the matter of apartment 2112 you have had me correctly pegged. (end of letter)
What happened next was that Sean, a good handyman, sent me a text saying he was available to help. He ended up installing the new AC and is fixing the other items by tomorrow.
The strange thing is that on my way to the Condo to meet up with Sean I was terribly depressed and in pain from my bladder problem so I just pulled off to the side of the road screaming for help from God that he give me some sign that he would help me from wanting to just die (which can happen from continued severe depression). Just moments latter I got a call from the office of my psychologist, to say I had an appointment with him Wednesday morning. To me, that was what I needed to restore my self confidence and the depression immediately left me. I have come to understand that God responds to me in ways like this.
After your call I was mocked and condemned for taking the position that I believe my way of handling my daughters' difficulties is righteous and conforms with what God expects of me as a father; I did not relate any of our conversation but said only that I spoke with you and intend to do so in the future as is my right. I am no longer depressed.
I shall call B, our grand-daughter, in the morning at about 10 AM my time. Thanks for giving me a call and please continue to do so.
Love, Dad
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